What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
