Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
