you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
