just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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