i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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