so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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