i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
