I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
