Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
