R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize