i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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