What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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