If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
