I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
