You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she pinky promised me she was 18
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
