I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
