You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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