I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
