Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
