shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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