new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
