i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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