Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
