I think I am morally bankrupt
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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