That's when you crack a 10am beer
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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