Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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