she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
