I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
soo... how was my night?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
