her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
