so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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