she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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