Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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