my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
