How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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