and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
