the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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