I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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