Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
