Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So vagazzling was a success
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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