it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
