they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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