My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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