we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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