i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
