I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
