Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize