would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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