Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
