he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
