great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
