TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I can't turn off my feet"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
