i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
