absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Watching her eat just hurts me
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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