About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
