Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
