So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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