all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
