So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize